Observations
by TwilightRamblings
Summary: The five times Harry observed Snape and one time Snape observes Harry


**Hey guys, just a short story to get my creative juices going while I keep working on the second chapter of Letters: The Year with the Snake. Based on Mellow Moon's challenge on Potions and Snitches. **

**In other news, I've decided to start writing a book! Wish me luck :)**

**Read and review and as always, not my characters, just my sandpit.**

**The First**

Harry knew that sneaking out of bed after the trouble they'd got into over the troll was a _bad_ idea. That it was stupid and foolish and that if he got caught by Snape there'd be hell to pay. But it was a tradition. He had to do it.

He padded silently towards the balcony on the South Tower's sixth floor, knowing that it would be the perfect place. Hearing murmured voices ahead, he froze, shaking a little as he realised that it was Snape!

"Oh Lily. I miss you so much. And your brat is proving to be even more trouble than he's worth." A pause. "He could have died tonight, Lil." Snape's voice sounded tight and Harry listened in shock as he continued. "Watch over him please. Keep him safe, just in case I fail. Like I failed you. I'm so sorry."

Harry stuck his head around the corner cautiously, locking his eyes on Snape almost instantly. He was sitting against a wall, legs straight out in front of him, looking both more relaxed and more tense than Harry had ever seen him. And in his hand, Harry could see he held a photo. Harry frowned as he realised it must be of his mum. Lily. It wasn't fair that that bat got to have a photo of his Mum when he didn't. And that he got to talk to her like she was there. Harry wasn't allowed to do that. He had to sneak around just to light his candle for her, like his primary teacher had told him they did in churches for people who had died. He would steal a stubby one, not a good one, from Aunt Petunia, one she wouldn't miss, and light it for his Mum and Dad. But he couldn't make a noise, or go outside, otherwise Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon would find out what he did. And they wouldn't like it.

"Potter!" The hiss behind him made Harry turn with a start, careful not to stray into the sight of the grieving Potions Master. "Come away, now!" It was Professor McGonagall and she looked nervous, like she didn't want to Professor Snape to know they were there.

Harry crept toward her, careful to stay quiet. "Sorry, Professor." She watched as he raised the hand with the candles in it, good ones this year, not stolen but taken from the drawer in the dorm.

"Come along, Mr Potter. There are better places in the castle to remember your parents tonight."

**The Second**

Harry came to slowly, wincing as his eyes stuck together. The infirmary had darkened since he'd fallen asleep, meaning that it was past dinner time. Harry had to suppress a flinch of surprise as he realised that Snape sat in the chair next to his bed, eyes on the book in his lap. Harry quickly closed his eyes again and deepened his breathing, hoping the quick-tempered Professor wouldn't know he was awake. When no tirade about Potter luck started, he peered under his lashes at his Professor. The man was completely engrossed in his book, turning the pages at a leisurely rate. The man's hair fell like curtains on either side of his face, preventing Harry from seeing his expression properly. One hand was on the arm of his chair, fingers tapping absentmindedly against it. The other was at the side of the book, ready to turn the page.

As Harry watched, Professor Snape glanced at his prone form, frowned and then stood and turned toward Madame Pomfrey's office. "The boy can have a pain reliever when he wakes up, Poppy, and make sure he eats, even if he doesn't feel like it. The potion takes a lot out of a body and he doesn't eat enough as it is. Just like his darn mother," Professor Snape ended in a mutter.

"Yes, and who do I remember hassling her everyday until she ate? It couldn't have been you, could it Severus?" Madame Pomfrey asked with a sly smile.

"It may have been," Professor Snape answered with a smirk.

"You could help him, you know. Tell him about his mother. You should have seen his reaction when Hagrid gave him a photo album of them last year. It was like he'd never seen their photos before." Harry winced as he realised just how close Madame Pomfrey was to the truth.

"You know that I can't, Poppy. Not until the Dark Lord is well and truly vanquished." Professor Snape sounded so different from usual that Harry had to look and check that it was indeed him talking.

"Did you know that after Sirius Black, you were her preference for guardian? Actually, she told me that she'd have preferred to make you godfather, for all the damage it would have done; she agreed with my thought that Sirius Black would have been a much better uncle than he would a godfather." Madame Pomfrey said the new name with distaste and Harry got the distinct idea that she didn't like this Sirius Black guy one little bit.

"It would never have happened as long as James Potter had the right to say anything about it." Harry gasped as he realised that the foreign sound in Professor Snape's voice was regret! He actually regretted that he hadn't been able to take Harry in. He realised too late that he had just given away the fact that he was awake and so set about pretending he had just woken from a nightmare; it wasn't like he hadn't had plenty of practice at that.

**The Third**

Harry flinched as Snape stepped in front of them, blocking them from the werewolf's sight. "Run, you fools!" Snape hissed, looking over his shoulder at them.

"Ron's leg is broken, Professor," Hermione said, the stress evident in her voice.

Harry head the professor swear violently as the wolf moved toward them. Suddenly, a black blur leapt toward the wolf, colliding with it and knocking if off path. "Sirius!" Harry called.

"Don't move a muscle, Potter," Snape spat as Harry moved forward. Harry looked up, stunned to see actual fear in the Professor's eyes as he looked over towards the wolf. In a sweeping movement, Professor Snape turned around and lifted Ron, ignoring his yell of pain. "Run, now!" Hermione and Harry shared a split second glance and then took off running towards the castle, glancing back to make sure that Professor Snape was following. Harry flinched and almost stopped as he heard Sirius yelp in pain, imagining what a werewolf could do to his newly rediscovered godfather. He started running again as Snape came level with him. They were making good time towards the castle, Harry amazed by Snape's stamina as he carried Ron up the hill, when Harry stumbled and groaned. The darkness that the Dementors brought on was creeping up in him and when he turned around, he saw a black mass skimming the ground, half coming towards them and half towards the Lake.

"Professor!" Harry called, trying to fix himself onto a happy memory for his Patronus. Snape stopped and lifted Ron off his shoulder so that he was leaning unsteadily against Professor Snape.

"Are the rumours true, Potter? Can you produce a Patronus?" Professor Snape asked quietly.

"I can try, Professor."

"Do it." With that, Professor Snape pulled out his wand, closed his eyes and let an almost peaceful expression come across his face. With that, he flicked his wand out, producing a corporeal Patronus in the form of a doe. Harry locked his eyes on the bright silver, feeling some sort of peace flowing over him and he managed to bring his feeling of elation at the idea of living with Sirius back to his mind.

"Expecto Patronum!" Harry cast, significantly louder than the Professor. A large white shape burst from his wand, cantering past the doe and lowering it's antlered head in a charge. The Dementors scattered in front of it, turning towards the Lake. "Professor, that's Sirius down there."

"Potter, he's a convicted criminal!" Professor Snape spat.

"We saw Pettigrew sir. He was really there. Please!" Harry begged. "Sirius is innocent. And he wants to take me away from the Dursley's," Harry said quietly. Harry saw the look Professor Snape gave him, the searching look that made him feel like Professor Snape could read minds.

"Go. Protect any you find," Professor Snape said to the still corporeal doe. "Tell your Patronus to do the same. If Black has any sense, he'll clear out when he wakes up." Harry wanted to go to Sirius and see if he was alright but he knew that Professor Snape wouldn't stand for it.

"Now, can we go, Potter? You're friend here has a rather badly broken leg." Harry glanced at Ron, who was pale and biting his lip.

"Yeah, thanks Professor." Harry ran to catch up with Hermione who looked pale as well. "You alright, Hermione?"

"Not really. Did you see where Lupin went?" She asked.

"No," Harry answered. "That's encouraging."

"Move, Potter, Granger," Snape snapped as he strode past them.

"Yes sir," Hermione replied as she started up toward the school. Up ahead, Harry saw the doors swing open and a Dumbledore-resembling figure step out onto the top of the stairs. "Oh thank God."

Harry watched Snape move in front of them, long stride carrying him up the hill in front of them. Ron looked like he was keeping himself from throwing up and Harry winced in sympathy.

"Severus, what happened?" Professor Dumbledore asked as he walked down the stairs to meet them.

"Black happened. Not to mention that idiot Lupin forgot his potion, so there's a feral werewolf running around on the grounds." Snape paused to manoeuvre Ron onto the stretcher that Dumbledore had conjured, surprisingly gentle as Ron groaned in pain.

"You caught Black?" Professor Dumbledore asked in surprise.

"No. These three criminals-in-the-making Stunned me so that I couldn't restrain Black." At Hermione's sound of protest, Snape amended, "Potter claims to have seen Pettigrew. Since he can't have known that name, I'll leave it to you to ascertain whether they are indeed telling the truth. If they are not, I suggest you expel them." With that final piece of venom, Snape swept up the stairs and into the castle. Harry saw him briefly lift a hand to the back of his head, where he had smacked into the wall when they had Stupefied him. Apparently, the Professor was human.

**The Fourth**

Harry came to in the infirmary, relieved to feel that his leg wasn't still hurting. He blearily gazed over at the visitor's chair. He assumed that he was going to see Sirius sitting there, so was surprised when he saw an exhausted looking Professor Snape there.

"Professor?" Harry asked, sitting up on his elbows. Snape's head snapped up and he stared at Harry like he wasn't really seeing him.

"No matter what you start to think over the next few months, Harry-" Harry flinched in surprise at Snape's use of his first name, "Cedric Diggory's death was not your fault. Nor could you have done anything to save his life. He was a pawn in a very dangerous game played by the Dark Lord and unfortunately, as you've hopefully learnt from Weasley, pawns are expendable. He wasn't part of this war, except for his presence in the worst place at the worst time. So when you start to think that his death was your fault – which you will – remember what I told you, Harry. His death, and all those that are going to follow, are not your fault." Snape's voice was quiet and intense, his eyes pinning Harry in place. Harry had never seen this side of Snape, this intense, desperate version whose arm was twitching and whose black eyes seemed to have endless depths of pain in them.

"If I hadn't told him to grab the Cup with me-" Harry started.

"Not. Your. Fault," Snape replied strongly. Harry bit his lip and stared at his legs under the covers.

"I want to tell his parents I'm sorry," Harry said, daring to challenge this new and different Snape.

"You should. Tell them that you are sorry for their loss. Sorry that the Dark Lord has returned. But do not apologise for the fact that you lived. You did them a service tonight, bringing back his body for them to bury and telling the story of his bravery. You don't need to apologise for living." Snape sat back, tension visibly coming out of his posture. "Your godfather is getting a coffee from the House Elves. He has been here all night. He wants to talk to you about your relatives."

Harry froze, wondering why Sirius wanted to talk about the Dursley's. "Why?"

"Because you have been hiding things, Harry Potter. Things that became obvious when Madame Pomfrey had to change you out of your Champion outfit after you fell asleep. Professor Dumbledore was informed, as per school protocol, and he is making arrangements so that you will not be staying with the Dursley's again," Professor Snape stopped speaking and glanced over his shoulder. Sirius was standing there, bristling with anger. "I will make a point of checking in on you over the summer; ensure that your new family are treating you correctly."

"No offense sir, but why do you care?" Harry asked.

"Because all children with questionable home circumstances are referred to me for care as I have a degree in Muggle Psychology. I conduct fortnightly meetings and home checks with each student to ensure that their situation improves. Good luck, Harry, and remember what I told you." Snape stood and turned away, sweeping out of the room.

**The Fifth**

"How are you settling in in the foster home, Harry?" Harry glanced up as they walked, still surprised when Snape used his first name.

"Okay I guess. My foster sister's cool. She's younger than me, almost eleven. She's really eager to go to Hogwarts. She's lived in foster homes for a few years. Her parents died in a car crash the year I started at Hogwarts," Harry rattled off.

"I know. I helped your social worker pick the house for you," Snape said. "I wanted to know about you, not your foster sister. And more specifically, how you're settling in? Are you having any problems dealing with what happened at the end of the year?"

Harry frowned and turned his head away.

"Indeed." Harry chanced a glance at Professor Snape and noticed that he didn't look as upset as his voice seemed. "Is there anything in particular you would like to talk about or is it just the events in general?"

"I keep having nightmares. Susie says that I talk in my sleep," Harry paused as Snape's eyebrow rose. "She sneaks into my room at night. Said she has bad dreams too and that sleeping in my room helps. She sleeps on the window seat; all curled up like a cat."

"Do your foster parents know about this? Susie sounds like she needs something to help her sleep properly without help. I can help you with your nightmares but I can't help Susie until she comes to Hogwarts. Try clearing your mind before you sleep."

Harry made a questioning face. "Clear my mind, sir?"

A strange emotion flashed across Snape's face. "Try to clear your mind of any thought. If you can't focus on nothing in your mind, try focusing on one thing to the exclusion of everything else. A candle flame or a sound or a picture. Then hold that picture in your mind while you take deep breaths. Keep doing this until you feel your body relax. You won't be able to focus for long when you start but I would expect by the end of summer for you to be able to hold it for at least five minutes. If you do this every night, you should find that you don't have an unusual amount of nightmares. If you are still having them, write me; I can send you a potion but it can become addictive so I am adverse to letting you self-administer." Snape pointed to a café down the street. "That's where we are going for breakfast."

"I get that. So like when I was at the Dursley's and I'd watch a spider make a web. Sometimes I'd stop hearing stuff because I'd be so focused." Snape's eyebrows rose and Harry reacted without thinking. "Hey, I'm not completely useless! I thought spiders were interesting and I used to watch them make webs. It was kind of peaceful."

"Watch your tone, Harry. That was not doubt on my face. I am impressed; most students your age can not hold their focus on anything for long. And that is exactly my meaning; you want to be able to shut out the world." Snape looked him over and Harry saw something more than the usual disdain and loathing in his expression.

"Thanks for that, sir. And I'll try to watch my tone next time," Harry added meekly.

"Good. I am aware that our past interactions have not set a very positive tone for our future interactions. Therefore, I will allow for some indiscretions but not a constant influx of rudeness." Harry nodded, aware that it was reasonable.

"Good, perhaps we have a chance at positive interactions after all."

**The Time that Snape observed instead**

Severus stood on the stage as the Seventh Years came up one by one. When "Potter-Snape, Harry" was called, he smiled proudly at the seventeen-year-old making his way up the stairs to the stage. Harry had filled out in the last couple of years, turning from a scrawny fifteen year old into a muscled young adult who was pursuing an emergency Healing career. Susie, Harry's former foster sister, cheered from the fifth year section, proudly smiling in her Slytherin robes and tie.

Harry walked toward Dumbledore, high-fiving Hermione and Seamus Finnegan on his way over. He took his diploma from the Headmaster, bowed jokingly towards Lupin and Black in the parents section, and went to take his place in the line of graduates already on stage. Harry looked relaxed and happy, holding tightly to his diploma. He was smiling broadly but it was the quick glance back towards Severus that told Severus exactly what he wanted to know. Harry had spent the last two years adjusting to his new relationship with Severus, his feelings about the Dursleys and the destiny that the prophecy had forced upon him. It was only recently that Harry had started to truly acknowledge that he wanted Severus' support and pride. For Harry to glance back at Severus with desire for approval meant that Harry had really accepted the impact that Severus could have on his life.

The declaration of Black's innocence in fifth year had derailed their growing mentorship until Black had admitted that he thought it was much more fun to be the uncle who got Harry into trouble rather than the dad who had to offer discipline. Upon his realisation of that, Severus and Black had managed to reach a middle ground and maintain civility, for the most part. Harry spent two weeks over the summer with Black and Lupin – who had finally announced the obvious and moved in together – and a week at the Weasleys, spending the rest of his holidays with Severus. Now, he was moving out with Hermione and Ron, into an apartment in London. Severus gave a mental shudder at the thought of them living without the discipline of school and hoped that Harry's study and Granger's good sense would keep them out of trouble.

Lord Voldemort and Dumbledore had hosted a final showdown not a month ago. In fact, the last funeral of those lost in battle, including Percy Weasley and Mad-Eye Moody, had been a week ago in the very same spot as the graduation ceremony. After being informed that he had to die to make Voldemort vulnerable, Harry had given himself up, with Severus taking the right position to lie to Voldemort when Harry returned to consciousness. Laid at Voldemort's feet, Harry had been in the prime position to kill the snake, Nagini, and leave Voldemort vulnerable to the curse cast by Dumbledore. The only thing that Severus was thankful for during the war was that his inability to help the casualties had prompted Harry to finally decide on his chosen path. Which he was now free to follow, as he was no longer just the Boy Who Lived, but the Boy Who Would Go On Living.

**May, in the future, decide to extend this out to a full length story starting after the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Possibly will depend on reactions based on this one :)**


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